After childbirth, everything changes: the body, the rhythm of life, hormonal levels, and roles in the family. It is a profound period of transformation - and at the same time a time of high vulnerability. Many women face emotional swings, anxiety, feelings of loneliness or guilt.

Together with Tetiana Kertik, a perinatal and family psychologist, Lada Mothers' Generation has prepared material with self-support techniques to help you find support in difficult times.

"Self-support helps not to 'hold on by willpower' but to recover. Regular, simple actions can prevent emotional burnout and postpartum depression," the expert emphasises.

What are self-support techniques?

Self-support techniques are simple actions that help to

• reduce stress after childbirth
• calm yourself down in a difficult moment
• better understand your emotions
• strengthen psychological resilience
• prevent emotional burnout

This can be 5 minutes of silence, a breathing exercise, a warm bath, a short conversation with a friend or partner, or even just a pause "for yourself".

Self-support techniques after childbirth

Monitoring thoughts and emotions (CBT approach)

This is a technique from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) that helps you notice automatic, often self-critical thoughts and replace them with more realistic and supportive ones.

5 steps of monitoring:

1. Situation:
   What happened? Describe the event.
   Example: The child was crying for 40 minutes, I was alone with her and could not calm her down.
2. Emotions:
   What emotions did you experience? Name 1-3 emotions and indicate their intensity from 0 to 10.
   For example:

• Helplessness - 8/10
• Anger - 7/10
• Shame - 6/10

Automatic thoughts:
What thoughts go through your head?
Examples:

• "I'm a bad mum."
• "I'm not doing a good job."
• "What is wrong with me?"

Alternative thoughts:
What can I say to myself instead?
Examples:

• "It was a difficult moment and I did the best I could."
• "Even good mothers sometimes can't calm their child down right away."

Result:
What changed after the exercise?
Example: The feeling of guilt decreased from 8/10 to 5/10. I have a desire to take care of myself or ask someone for support.

Technique "Stopping a thought" + replacing it with a supportive one

This is a simple but powerful technique to reduce the impact of negative automatic thoughts.

How to do it:

1. Notice the thoughts:
   "I can't do it", "I've messed up again", "I'm weak".
2. Say "Stop!"
   Imagine a STOP sign, say it mentally or out loud: "STOP!". This reduces the power of the thought.
3. Name it:
   "This is a disturbing thought."
   "This is not a fact, but my inner worry."
4. Pause:
   Breathe. Touch yourself (for example, put your hand on your chest). Calm your body down.
5. Replace the phrase:
   "I'm tired, not a bad mum."
   "I'm doing the best I can in difficult circumstances."
   "I have the right to pause."

Regular repetition helps to gradually form new neural connections and reduce the power of the internal critic.

Behavioural activation

After giving birth, everything revolves around the baby. But even 10-15 minutes of enjoyable activity brings back a sense of self.

Examples:

• A shower that brings relief
• Coffee or tea with your favourite flavour
• 10-minute walk
• 1 page of a book
• Light physical activity
• A note in the diary

Realistic planning and delegation

Not all tasks are equally important.

Tips:

• Identify the "minimum for the day": what really needs to be done and what doesn't.
• Allow yourself to do "enough", not "perfect".
• Delegate or just don't do some of the tasks.

Plan for self-care

At least for a day: sleep, food, water, movement, 1 thing for yourself.

For example: "I'm eating three meals today, drinking 2 glasses of water, and I'm going to try 10 minutes of silence without my phone."

Containment of emotions ("Safe")

When you can't live through a strong emotion right now (anger, guilt, confusion), this technique allows you to temporarily "put it away".

How to do it:

1. Become aware of the emotion:
   "I'm angry because I'm tired. This is normal."
2. Imagine a container:
   A box, a safe, a cave - an image that evokes safety.
3. Put in the container:
   "I put my anxiety about not being able to cope in there."
4. Close:
   Imagine the lock clicking. Emotions are safe.
5. Come back to reality:
   Breathe, touch yourself, drink water.
6. Make a promise to yourself:
   "I will come back to this in the evening/with a psychologist/in my diary."

Visualisation of "inner space"

This is a short recovery exercise for when your body is tired but your mind needs rest.

Steps:

1: Pause

Find a moment when you can close your eyes or breathe deeply for at least 3 minutes.
Even if you are sitting with your baby or breastfeeding, it is possible.

Take 2-3 slow breaths in and out.
Imagine that with each breath you let go of a little tension.

2: Ask yourself the question.

"If I could be anywhere right now, where would I want to be?"

Don't limit yourself to logic. It can be a real place or an imaginary one.
Maybe it's your childhood home, the seashore, the mountains, a cosy cafe, a hammock on the terrace, or just a room where no one touches you.

3: Immerse yourself in the place

Imagine that you are already there.

• What do you see?
• What sounds do you hear?
• What smells do you smell?
• What's under your feet? What is the air like?
• What does the light look like?
• How does your body feel in this place?

4: Stay there in your mind

Give yourself a few minutes to stay in that place. Imagine that it is "holding" you - no demands, no business. Just peace, security, support.

You can mentally say to yourself:

• "I am allowed to be here."
• "I have the right to pause."
• "This is my inner space."

An example of an internal dialogue:

"I am now on a warm beach. The wind is blowing on my face, I'm wearing light clothes. No one distracts me, no one needs me. I just breathe. I am. And that is enough."

Take one more deep breath in and out.
As you return to reality, feel that this peaceful place is with you - inside, ready to be returned to at any time.

This is a good practice to use:

• when you are anxious
• when you're irritated,
• after crying,
• during breastfeeding or at bedtime.